Empathy: A 21st-century skill every child needs

Empathy is an essential 21st-century skill. For children who will live and work in increasingly diverse communities, empathy serves as a compass for navigating relationships, resolving conflicts, and building a fairer world.

Learning in action at KEY academy

“If literacy and numeracy prepare children for the world’s demands, empathy prepares them to improve the world itself.”

- Bolu Ogungbesan, Co-learner, Seeds (ages 3 - 5 years) learning group

Introduction

A few weeks ago, I watched one of our youngest learners quietly notice that a peer was struggling to tie their shoe. Without being prompted, he walked over, knelt down, and tried to help. He didn’t do it perfectly, but the intention was clear: he saw someone else’s difficulty and wanted to ease it. In that small moment, I was reminded that empathy is something that children experience, practise, and grow into.

In the 21st century, where children are growing up in a fast-moving world, empathy matters just as much as core skills like literacy and numeracy. It shapes how children relate to others, how they solve problems, and the kind of adults they eventually become. A child who can understand another person’s feelings is more likely to collaborate well, communicate thoughtfully, and respond to challenges with patience rather than frustration.

At KEY academy, we see empathy as a foundational life skill. It shows up in the way older students support younger ones, in how students work through group projects, and in the everyday language of kindness and respect we encourage across our learning spaces. When children learn to listen, to consider different perspectives, and to care about how their actions affect others, they begin to understand that learning is not only about personal achievement but also about shared growth.

Why empathy matters  Empathy has long been linked with positive outcomes in both education and society. Empathy can determine success in life more than intelligence alone. It has also been placed at the heart of peaceful and inclusive societies. Similarly, Harvard University’s Making Caring Common Project (2013) revealed that, while many children believe adults value achievement over kindness, those who are intentionally taught empathy are more likely to grow into thoughtful and responsible leaders.

Empathy is not simply a “nice-to-have”; it is an essential life skill. For children who will live and work in increasingly diverse communities, empathy serves as a compass for navigating relationships, resolving conflicts, and building a fairer world.

Projects that encourage empathy

At KEY academy, we recognise that children learn best when they are actively engaged. Real-world projects provide opportunities for them to experience empathy in action. Below are some examples of how we encourage empathy through practical experiences.

1. Giving with understanding

Charity drives are common in schools, but they are most effective when children are included in the thinking behind them. Instead of simply handing over items, children can be encouraged to ask why they are giving, who might benefit, and how it might feel to be on the receiving end. This reflection transforms giving into a lesson in kindness.

One of the most memorable projects we carried out as a school was a charity drive for the children of Makoko. At first, our students were hesitant. Some wondered why they should give to people they did not know, especially since they had been taught at home to be cautious with strangers. With guidance, however, they began to understand that empathy is not about giving recklessly; it is about recognising when another person is in need and offering support in a safe and thoughtful way.

Soon, they were selecting toys they no longer used, clothes they had outgrown, and even writing small notes to accompany their gifts. By the end of the project, they had not only donated but also discovered the joy of kindness. For me, that was empathy in its purest form.

2. Peer-to-Peer support

Schools can establish mentoring relationships between older and younger students. This may involve activities such as reading together, helping with simple tasks within their learning spaces, or supporting peers to resolve minor disagreements in the playground. These small, everyday interactions allow children to see that their actions have a direct impact on another person’s wellbeing. Over time, they begin to understand that leadership is not about authority but about service and care.

3. Listening through stories

Storytelling is another powerful way to nurture empathy. When children share their own experiences and listen carefully to the stories of others, they learn to connect feelings with real events. Partnerships between schools and local communities can also create opportunities for children to hear diverse perspectives and develop a broader understanding of the world.

An older KEY academy student reading to younger ones

Practical steps for parents and educators

Empathy does not grow overnight; it flourishes when intentionally nurtured. Below are simple yet practical steps that parents and educators can take to cultivate empathy in children.

• Model it daily: Children observe more than we know. Let them see you offer kindness to a neighbour, thank support staff , or check in on a friend. These everyday acts model empathy in action.

• Ask reflective questions: Instead of only asking, “How was school today?”, try: “Did you notice anyone who looked happy or sad? What did you do?” This helps children develop awareness of others’ feelings.

• Create family projects: Set aside one weekend each month for a mini empathy project; bake snacks for security guards, write thank-you cards for domestic staff, or donate gently used items. These activities turn compassion into habit.

• Link empathy to learning: In schools, projects such as designing posters on fairness, simulating a market, or role-playing as community helpers encourage children to think critically about how their choices affect others.

• Celebrate kindness: Make a habit of recognising not only high academic performance but also thoughtful actions such as sharing, helping, or including a new friend. Acknowledging kindness reinforces its value.

The ripple effect of empathetic students 

The beauty of empathy is that it multiplies. When one child learns to see through another’s eyes, it does not stop there; it ripples out to families, learning spaces, and communities. The child who donates a toy today may grow into the teenager who stands up against bullying, the adult who leads with fairness, or the neighbour who checks in when others are struggling.

During our charity drive, as I watched our students beam with pride, I realised that empathy is not something to be forced. It is something you invite children into through meaningful experiences. And when they step into it willingly, the lessons last a lifetime.

Conclusion

If literacy and numeracy prepare children for the world’s demands, empathy prepares them to improve the world itself. It is the skill that transforms learning into purpose, and purpose into impact. The world our children will inherit needs not only innovators and achievers but also empathetic leaders who understand that every small act of kindness can create big change. By nurturing empathy through real-world projects, we are not just raising students; we are raising changemakers.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Written by Bolu Ogungbesan, Co-learner, Seeds (ages 3 - 5 years) learning group

References

1. Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.

   
   

2. UNESCO. (2015). Global citizenship education: Topics and learning objectives. United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization.

   
   

3. Harvard University. (2013). The making caring common project. Harvard Graduate School of Education. https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/